The One Man Wrecking Crew

General Overview And Insight
into the life of a truly troubled soul

Born Christopher Massicotte his future had much promise as he weighed an overpowering 15lbs. 5ozs. and measured at just under 3 feet tall. Yes, I know what your thinking. That must have hurt. Right?
I am sure his mother did endure much pain as she tried to push this massive (no pun intended) man child out on May 12, 1988. Who would have known that just about 14 years later that nice sunny brisk day in May would be remember as one of the most tragic days in US history since JFK was assassinated as young Christopher displayed hes first acts of violence and destruction as he placed the household cat in the dryer. Despite being unborn by about 25 years of the assassination he is still a suspect in the case. Chris is now at the age of 18 and has a better resume in demolition then a 40 year old suicide bomber or those guys that always bring down the huge buildings but manage to make the destruction look so cool. There is absolutely nothing entertaining about the rage that spurts out of Christopher.

Lions, Tigers, and Bears...... OH MY? or OH NO?
Once knocked out with a wide variety of tranquilizers "The Destructor" was placed into a large pit that housed numerous lions, tigers, and bears. He made quick and might I add easy work of these mammals and ate them whole.

Tail Of The Toilet
After quite a hearty night of drinking yours truly woken in what seemed what can only be described as a haze... a haze that was accompanied by constant waves of head pain and nausea. But anyways, after I realized I was suffering from the urge to urinate. As I finally made it to the bathroom I began to pee into the urinal, but I quickly halted this action as I heard my pee hitting the ground. After I quickly turned around and finished off in the sink I began to ponder how this enormous hole was put into this toilet. After a bit of detective work I finally discovered the answer to what happened. It seems The Destructor had the same idea I had but earlier on in the night. He made his way to the bathroom probably by just walking completely through in wall until he found himself standing in front of the toilet. He then began to relieve himself. This turned into a piercing stream of acid like urine directly through the porcelain toilet. (Pictured HERE is what experts say The Destructor's Urine could possibly look like... Reason for uncertainty can be credited for the fake that no single human being or for that matter living thing has ever seen the destructor relieve himself and live to talk about it)

The Ultimate Party Pooper
One of the more unknown and talked about tales is infamous flipping of tables at a graduation party. Unknown to me is the reason for Massicotte being unstrapped from his party restraints. But moving on from that point we can now describe the actions of sed "man". After losing a friendly game of Beer Pong he seemingly slammed a pong ball on the ground making it explode upon impact and then proceeded to flip one table and leave the room. As the spectators finally regained consciousness from this fit of rage displayed by the evil man. Chris Massicotte reappeared and demolished the only remaining pong table. This finally display of madness can be seen here.


This is only the first installment of what many truly turn out to be numerous epic tales about the life and destruction of one CHRISTOPHER MASSICOTTE...

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