The One Man Wrecking Crew

General Overview And Insight
into the life of a truly troubled soul

Born Christopher Massicotte his future had much promise as he weighed an overpowering 15lbs. 5ozs. and measured at just under 3 feet tall. Yes, I know what your thinking. That must have hurt. Right?
I am sure his mother did endure much pain as she tried to push this massive (no pun intended) man child out on May 12, 1988. Who would have known that just about 14 years later that nice sunny brisk day in May would be remember as one of the most tragic days in US history since JFK was assassinated as young Christopher displayed hes first acts of violence and destruction as he placed the household cat in the dryer. Despite being unborn by about 25 years of the assassination he is still a suspect in the case. Chris is now at the age of 18 and has a better resume in demolition then a 40 year old suicide bomber or those guys that always bring down the huge buildings but manage to make the destruction look so cool. There is absolutely nothing entertaining about the rage that spurts out of Christopher.

Lions, Tigers, and Bears...... OH MY? or OH NO?
Once knocked out with a wide variety of tranquilizers "The Destructor" was placed into a large pit that housed numerous lions, tigers, and bears. He made quick and might I add easy work of these mammals and ate them whole.

Tail Of The Toilet
After quite a hearty night of drinking yours truly woken in what seemed what can only be described as a haze... a haze that was accompanied by constant waves of head pain and nausea. But anyways, after I realized I was suffering from the urge to urinate. As I finally made it to the bathroom I began to pee into the urinal, but I quickly halted this action as I heard my pee hitting the ground. After I quickly turned around and finished off in the sink I began to ponder how this enormous hole was put into this toilet. After a bit of detective work I finally discovered the answer to what happened. It seems The Destructor had the same idea I had but earlier on in the night. He made his way to the bathroom probably by just walking completely through in wall until he found himself standing in front of the toilet. He then began to relieve himself. This turned into a piercing stream of acid like urine directly through the porcelain toilet. (Pictured HERE is what experts say The Destructor's Urine could possibly look like... Reason for uncertainty can be credited for the fake that no single human being or for that matter living thing has ever seen the destructor relieve himself and live to talk about it)

The Ultimate Party Pooper
One of the more unknown and talked about tales is infamous flipping of tables at a graduation party. Unknown to me is the reason for Massicotte being unstrapped from his party restraints. But moving on from that point we can now describe the actions of sed "man". After losing a friendly game of Beer Pong he seemingly slammed a pong ball on the ground making it explode upon impact and then proceeded to flip one table and leave the room. As the spectators finally regained consciousness from this fit of rage displayed by the evil man. Chris Massicotte reappeared and demolished the only remaining pong table. This finally display of madness can be seen here.


This is only the first installment of what many truly turn out to be numerous epic tales about the life and destruction of one CHRISTOPHER MASSICOTTE...

***If you wish to leave your own stories and have them placed onto the website leave your name and your affiliation with "The Destructor"***

The Legend of The Machine... Chris Crouse

Many have seen him walking around or driving his maroon Saturn but few know the really story about Chris Crouse. I've decided to take this time and display stories that are completely fact about the Machine.

Reasons for the Name

1. Chris is referred to as "Machine" because of the lack of emotion he shows
   
2. also he was given this name via Zach Shamberg for his resemblance to the actor Chris Bauer in the movie 8mm) Here is a picture of Machine in the movie 8mm Machine
3. The loss of both ACLs but he still as able to perform athletic feats makes many ponder the thought of his knees being mechanical thus making him a machine
   

Some Urban Legends Provided By Tim Corbett

Machine can hibernate for up to 6 months at a time and uses supercooling in his body to survive

Machine was spotted wrestling the Loch Ness Monster
in regards to the missing body of the Loch Ness Monster Tim had this to say
Machine swam to the bottom of the lake dug a hole and buried Nessie

Machine and Nessie were good friends but then Machine betrayed Nessie because people like him more. Machine lost his temper and drowned the friendly creature (even thought he admits he doesn't know how one would go about drowning the Loch Ness Monster) the body is believed to be buried in a hold under rocks and a shipwreck.

On the 7th day, Jesus did not rise from the dead it was Chris Crouse

When Machine was confronted by the abdominal snow man Machine resorted to his usual tactic off destroying everything in his path. He did this by pissing on him and the snow man quickly melted saturated in the Machine's urine

The tooth fairy is real, but Chris Crouse robbed her of all of her money for the CPP (Crouse's Pussy Palace). While she recovers from bankruptcy you will find your parents putting money under your pillow.

Other Ubran Legends about Chris Crouse

1. He killed famed big foot
   
2. Chris Crouse is the reason no one has ever made it through the Bermuda Triangle
3. Chris Crouse is the Bermuda Triangle
4. Chris Crouse swallowed Amelia Earhart's plane that is why it has never been found
   
5. There are only two objects that can be seen from outerspace Chris Crouse and his bush
6. Germany surrender in WWII not because they were losing on the battlefield but in response to the threat of the unleashing of THE weapon of mass destruction named Chris Crouse
   

***Have your own Chris Crouse stories? Share them with everyone please just send the stories to them and I will update this website***

SOON TO COME

flyers of Chris Crouse to be spread at around our college campus

Unlucky Lagoy?

Chris Lagoy's luck is really looking on the downside as of late. With new changes he has found a partner for DECA in the category of Sports and Entertainment. This seemed to be great news as the category had been lacking some talent and the young Lagoy seemed primed and ready to put up some good numbers. It was only a few days later that the news of the tandem of Chris Crouse and Chris Incudine being reunited as a team was announced. Students and teachers ran in fear of the damage that these too could bring the the DECA competition. The hype surrounding the arrival of Chris Crouse to the world of DECA can only be compared to the hype that was received by LeBron James to the NBA draft. This mammoth of a man has been known to through wild tantrums in which anyone in reach is at risk of receiving a fatal blow. It was freshman year that during his biggest outburt he (Crouse) was seen trying to stuff a fellow classmate into a hazardous waste bin. So the possibility of one of Crouse's signature outbursts is almost certain to erupt soon. The other 1/2 of this dynamic duo is non other then Chris Incudine. With strong ties to the Itilian mafia many who have had confrontations with him (Incudine) have been known to seek help from the Witness Protection Agency. Incudine's "track record" of fights has yet to be beaten, fighting in 4 consecutive winter league lacrosse games and being ejected from all. This is not all that he brings to the table. The occasionally out cry of an extremely rude and iggnorant comment are what he brings to the table when around team memeber Crouse. These two have been starving to unvail themselves as the team to beat in the cateogory. Only time will tell as the Deca Competition is Thursday January 6th, 2005. The only thing that seems inveditibale is that only 2 men will emerge from this day as the true victors. And by the looks of it Team Lagoy seems to be lacking the looks and the smarts to go anywhere in life besides down.

Yours Truly,
Chris Incudine (member of Team Ford)